It starts, the first 5-11 weeks

I should have known way earlier, and I guess I did but for some reason you wait. My boobs were sore for two weeks, everything I used to enjoy for breakfast now turned to the most bloating uncomfortable gas one could ever imagine, I got a cold sore, my roots were growing in like weeds, and then of course I had all these feminine products and no where to stick them. I am extremely attractive. But no still I wait, don't buy a test, don't give up beer night with Stu, I did give up the cereal of death though. I waited until Jamie told me. She's a mind reader, I trust that if she says so then I am. And then one night watching models she said so, next morning I took two tests to confirm, not that I needed to, and then went to the doctor after work to confirm even further. So I gots a baby in me, he's got arms and legs and lungs and a brain. Probably a huge know it all brain like his mom. Stu is over the moon and has won the baby naming rights, he picked a good one too. Connor. I'm convinced I'm hainvg a boy, I try to imagine having a girl and it's just not happening. I'm not so bull-headed to think it won't happen but for now it feel like a bouncing baby boy. I realize everything I think to be true can change and things I've sworn I'll never do I will probably end up doing so trying to warn me is futile not to mention extremely annoying.

One of the biggest things I fear in pregnancy is people telling me what I need to be doing, eating, not eating, feeling, fearing, and so on. If it happened to you doesn't mean it will happen to me. So far the best advise I got was from my best friend Jamers, "fuck that, everything in moderation that's all you need to do." God I love her.

I also love Tums Smoothies, so tasty. And Gas-X.

It seemed emidiate that I had to pee more, I have no desire for beer and have switched to a new thing called water. It's that shit that you wash dishes with, wierd hey? Stu was really worried about enjoying a frosty cold one in front of me but I assured him, when you have a baby inside you it's just different. I don't envy people that get to enjoy the vices of life (in moderation), I get to grown a person in me. And sure that person has heightened my sense of smell and made everyday life induce dry heaving and nausea, not to mention back up the works so that going to the bathroom feels like you ate glass, but I love him. I get to grow a person, the most primative f'd up thing one person can do in their lives and I get to be part of that club. The only complaint is now my right eye leaks all the time and I can't make up my mind when we go out to eat. It's SO anonying.

I held in my dirty little secret from work as long as I could, it's not easy. They say your suposed to wait until your 12 weeks, even I used to wonder why people would be so ballsy to start telling early. But it's hard to hold it in. You feel like someone will just notice and ask and then it's all over. So I got to 9 weeks and brought it to light, a few people knew early but you need a backbone. It was awesome to finally have people understand why your head hurts and you won't take advil, or why you can't eat the lunch you brought and you want to eat the lunch they brought, that imobilizing gas is now actually cute not embrassing, or why your freakin eye won't stop leaking. It's also great material for office stand up. Blaming baby for everything, touching people with your belly and saying how baby is touching them, pretending baby is on the phone..... the list goes on. It's awesome. It's not that I don't find pregnancy amazing and mysterious, I just also find it very funny. My baby has eyes and they are looking at my insides. Creepy little bugger.