Water Breakage. Oct 18th 6:30pm,
Little did I realize at this point that the labor I was feeling was back labor too, so for any of you reading this please take with a grain of salt cause you very well could have it alot easier than me. Back labor is felt mostly in the lower back area and the best releif is to push on this area as hard as you can with anything you can jam in there. I chose the corner of the wall and then later discovered the hidden wood beam in the back of the couch. At the hospital it was still a funny time for me, between the contractions I was telling jokes, laughing, and craving snacks. They put me in a sexy gown and mesh one size fits all underwear that I still have stashed in my drawer, I am saving that for a special occasion....... We called Jamie to see where she was at, she was visiting her family in Comox and trying to get to me as fast as possible. My contractions at that point were 4 min apart, I think it was about 10am on Sunday. It's funny to remember that when I told Jamie how far apart they were she said ok ok I'm going to be there as soon as possible, thinking of course that I would have the baby any second, not realizing that there was still about 18 hours to go. So Stu and I are hanging out in the hospital and going through our paces, the pain is increasing with every contraction that I have. So it's 12 noon and no baby yet, I opt for the morphine/gravol cocktail as I cannot seem to grasp my breathing anymore and my back is killing me. I highly recommend this, it was just enough to take the edge off but not enough to fuck you up and make you a drooling vegetable. Also it alowed me to rest between the blows. Jamie finally arrived and the fun began to start, I tell you she was amazing. She manned my back like no body's business, and she did it for hours, just over 12 to be exact. I really don't know what Stu and I would have done without her. After every contraction she'd force me to drink poweraid and offer me candy to keep my strength up. She helped me with the various birthing positions and even stuffed my frog, Fergus, down my pants and took a picture. If anyone has a baby on the way please hire Jamie, it would be a disservice to your unborn not to.
Labor Positions.
There's always a way you imagine having a baby. Some people want to be lying down, some squating, some get to have water births. I always thought that I would be the typical girl on her back from start to finish. Well because Connor was turned around and facing up not down (not breach but flipped over) I had to move alot durring my very painfull contraction period. One to speed up the process and two to get the little bugger to move to the right place. So the nurses gave us a few ideas and away we went. I say this with gusto now but at the time I wanted to die. There was the stand up and walk around, they had suggested the hallway, I never even attempted the door. Instead I walked around the end of my bed then would brace for impact. It worked the way they wanted but hurt like a bitch. Then there was the kneel over the top of the bed move. This one had the bed adjusted so the top was upright and me kneel over it, I liked this one more as I could bite the pillow I was on while my body tried to murder me every 3-5 min. After a while though it doesn't matter what you do all you want is to lie down again. I remember asking Jamie if it was ok to do so at one point, she had a baby 5 months earlier and her opinion was the only one I cared to listen to. I love her, she let me lie down. We also tried the yoga ball, I think I liked this one too but for some reason we didn't use it too much. You honestly do forget alot, but for the shear amount of pain I was in it's not suprising.
Oh and by the way, this whole time your also bleeding and having to wear giant maxi pads- hospital issue. And it's true when they say you really don't give a shit. I also lost the ability to pee and had to have a temporary cathiter put in, sweet relief!
The Nurses:
In true form I was judging all the nurses that came into the room and rating them on a scale of Liked A lot, to Totall Hated. I don't care how many pregnant ladies come through your doors and how long you've been doing this, I want to be treated like a person dammit. So we had one nurse, Heather, and we loved her. I say we cause the three of us would comment on them as soon as they left the room. Heather was supportive and kind, and remembered the little things. She even came to see Connor the next day cause her shift was over before he was born. The one nurse we hated I can't remember the name of, mostly cause she didn't introduce herself. She would leave the jelly on my stomach after each heartrate check, even when Stu would be poised next to her to wipe it off. She also was one of those kind of people that feel compelled to tell you the hard knock truth like you were too stupid to already know that. "well it's supposed to be painfull," god I hate thoes people. There was a student nurse in the room with us too, I adored her, she had a great sense of humor and she remembered what it was like to be a person and treated us accordingly.
And of course honorable mention goes to the head nurse that was mentoring the student, she was the gem that told me to relax my legs while they were pulled back to my ears and spread wide open trying to push a baby out.
Transition Labor and Ze Pushing.
After what seemed like hours and turned out to actually be that long I finally went into transition labour. It was somewhere around 10pm and my contractions were maybe 30-45 seconds apart. Stu and Jamie could answer that one better for you as I was in a very basic and primal state of mind. I could hear what people were saying and I had a comeback for all of it but no energy to contribute. Which in hindsight is a very good thing as those people had their hands in my no zone and could really do some long lasting damage... Connor was still facing the wrong way and I was dialating nicely. We had to get him to spin around but no matter what I tried he wouldn't do it. He gets that from both of us, stubborn know it alls. I got phentanol put into my IV and the first time I could tell it was there, doing what I have no clue but it was there. In all fairness I'm pretty sure it helped me pass out between contractions but seeing how they were so close together it really was more of a placebo for me. The second round of phentanol I didn't notice at all, this is mainly cause it was crazy psyco pushing time! Yippie!
They tell you that you'll know when it's time to push, and you wait and wait for what seems like hours but is really only minutes for this magic feeling. You start to trick yourself that you've felt something or that you'll never feel it and your one of those special cases that needs extra attention and love. But believe you me it was a very precise feeling. Kinda like when you got the trotts and your have to get on the can asap or the shit will hit the fan. I knew it was time, I was pretty excited because this was it, I was going to have my baby. Somewhere in the reccese of my mind I still thought it would be like in the movies. I was dumb.
So when you are ready to push and you try a couple little ones on your own with the magic poop feeling as your guide you will find the room fills with people right fast. I had about 8 doctors and nurses in the room with us. Connor was in a delicate state and they had to monitor him constantly. All in all I ended up pushing for about 3 hours. I was told I had to pull my legs back and wide by grabbing the inside of my thighs. Hahaha assholes, they don't seem to care that you are in a huge amount of pain, or that you haven't been able to pull a stunt like that for at least 5 months and have no upper body strength. Nope, they want them right back and wide open, and it's never back or wide enough either. Ok I will stop talking about open wide back legs. How about I tell you that they ask you to relax these legs the whole time too? Oh yes, your pulling and pushing and trying to keep everything relaxed at the same time, and I will tell you right now they do not have any icecream for you at the end of this ordeal. Bastards.
They also slapped a oxygen mask over my face at one point. Never telling me that the baby needed it, just making me wear this horrible mask that was making my sweaty face extremely uncomfortable. So naturally I kept trying to take it off cause I hated it. Stu was very good and kept putting it back on, but really if someone would have just said that the baby needs it cause his oxygen is low I would have slapped 7 on my face. Jerks.
Your probably guessing by now I hate the people in the room with me, except for Stu and Jamie and the student nurse I wanted all of them to get hemroids.
So it's been awhile and I've been pushing, every push comes with some sort of scholding about how it wasn't good enough too, but not much coaching on how to make it better. Nurses like to yell. So they tell me that the baby isn't coming out properly and he's getting stressed, so they are going to call a specialist and he may need to use forecepts or the vaccum. In my head and what everyone should think is that they are liars and what they really mean is that they are going to actually end up doing a C-section. They of course never got to do that to me, the specialist walked in and told them to keep me pushing. Hahaha bitches! He sure told you!
Seeing how I don't trust them anymore I make up my mind to get my baby out of me as fast as possible. I was sick and tired of them trying to get someone to OK the easy road. So I pushed, and I pushed like I had never pushed before. The tone of the room changed automatically, now I had a cheering squad and they were so happy with me. Connor started to crown and I got to feel his slimey little head. So I pushed some more. All the while the nurses screaming GO GO GO then STOP STOP STOP! His cord was wrapped around his neck and they had to loosen it. All is well though. I pushed him out with ease and he was pretty pissed about the whole thing.
I got 3 stiches from the doctor, I hate the doctor but will leave it at that. My hands are cramping.
